Every person is a walking contradiction. Some more than others, but after studying this knowledge it's obvious that the internal contradictions you might find yourself facing are no anomalies. There is nothing moral or immoral about this or some sign that you're lacking in integrity. On the contrary, the contradictory cross wiring is embedded into human beings. Walt Whitman had it correct: "Very well, I contradict myself; I am large." I am large and so are you. You only see me on the surface and even that is a fleeting impression, a glance, or possibly as an image that you project upon with your emotions, your memories, in some dreamy stream of consciousness. Do I remind you of someone? Rarely do we go deeper into who we are looking at, or open to the feelings that inform us of AnOther's true motives or wants, or wishes, desires or roles. We see each AnOther on the surface, yet the full being is beneath the mask.
Beneath the mask, beneath the skin, each individual has been designed with an internal wiring that works at cross purposes. For some, the cross stitching is extreme, others less so. When we speak about the uniqueness of a person, this too is what is meant: how the different in-built cross stitches produce its own blend of cross purposes with its own particular tensions, angsts and frustrations The more extreme the cross wiring, the more the inbuilt tensions that psychotherapists have been trying to cure or treat since Freud.
There is no way to treat this, no way to un-do the cross stitching. By simply seeing the dynamics at work, how the pattern is laid out in yourself and those close to you, you can relax -- without agonizing on a couch or analyzing the lint in your navel or second-guessing why you did that when you really wanted to do this. You can take some comfort in in knowing that there was no other way, ever, and that you can find your own happiness through the maze.