George, a former London bus driver, was my teacher -- and my guide. He didn't just repeat 'The Rules of Road' booklet and explain how the gears worked. He encouraged, scolded, teased, cheered me on, helped me through tight spots, and yelled at me when I hit curbs. He taught me to be considerate to all on the road and to not over-react to every little thing. He calmed me down when I was spazzing out and picked me up when I was feeling low. In other words, he acknowledged emotions, respected them and was a master at managing them. He helped lift me out of them.
Reading the 'owners manual' wasn't going to help me transcend emotions in that learners' car, and it sure won't in the midst of life's experiences. If I'm the passenger in a car (keeping with the analogy) and I've been riding with someone I love and that person leaves? I'm sad, bereft. How will memorizing lines and gates mend a broken heart? If I'm forced to suddenly detour way over there, I'm frustrated and bitter, with an anger emerging that I just don't want to confront.
Human Design identifies the 'not-self' mental themes of the undefined and open centers in a really succinct way, but it's not like these thoughts just gently pass through us. These thoughts usually trigger emotions, those powerful, subterranean energies that defy reason, understanding, and logic. Many in the HD world say 'just follow your Strategy & Authority', but I don't find this helpful once in an emotional grip. They're not mutually exclusive: I can 'wait' for the job, career, vocation and still be emotionally off kilter. I can get splenic hits on all kinds of stuff, or not, yet still be unable to balance out decades-old emotions. How does 'waiting' help me acknowledge, let alone release, emotions?
This is where other disciplines and practices have helped. I've been forced to meet other teachers who are masters at transcending emotions (like George), and it's certainly informed my yoga practice. It's the emotional triggers that I'm in the process of diffusing, that I need to diffuse. I still hear the 'Oh, you're not doing enough' of my undefined sacral, but fear and other emotional reactions are less and less pronounced and as a result I'm less inclined to act on it.
Ra said it's the open centers that we're here to learn about, where we're meant to go to school, and I find this to be so very true. The 'avoiding confrontation and truth' is mostly avoiding truths within us. Too fearful to face painful or uncomfortable emotions, too ashamed of our feelings, we build or adopt one coping mechanism after another until we're armed with an arsenal, or addictions. Five years on, I don't need or want to walk around armed against the world. I'm not on a quest either to 'understand' my emotions or make sense out of any of them or narrate a pretty, little linear story out of them. I'm not as scared to dive deep down and experience the painful ones as much as the pleasurable ones in the hopes of freeing myself from these conditioning forces.