Something else, too, has lost its allure and that's the Rave Bodygraph. The very thing that captured my fascination with HD in the first place, the graph I absolutely had to learn about the moment I saw it. Graphs of friends, family, and of the rich and famous collected, a mini-library built up. Data analyzed and pored over during the first year of classes and then into professional training: All the channels and gates, the lines, and the constant consultation of the Rave I-Ching to remember names, numbers, symbols. A lot of mental firepower went into memorizing, studying, understanding.
Now, most of it, I. Just. Don't. Need. At least right now. And 'right now' has lasted months. I don't need to know the transit field. I don't need to know what gate Uranus has stationed. I don't need to know the why or the how, or what Gate 21 in a defined heart center means exactly. In general -- in life overall -- the 'need to know' has lessened. I don't want to know. In fact, when I find myself 'needing to know' about a situation or the future (which is still frequent) -- it's a sign I'm deep into not-self and clinging to ego -- that non-physical construct that seems so real, but so not. The ego's a mirage, a false identity the mind has been so busy building up one incorrect decision after another.
The incessant need to know more and more info about HD mechanics and the graph potentially straps us onto another loop of concepts about who we think we are and what our life should be. Walking around with channels, streams, gates, numbers, and phrases buzzing around my head became a distraction, too; another mental escape route from life and emotional truths. All of this is completely opposite to the essence of HD, of how to navigate, of transformation.
Of course, the irony is that to start the HD journey, the graph is probably essential. But the Bodygraph, that beautifully streamlined graphic design, can become a crutch if we're always looking for reasons, explanations, answers. It can turn into a source of labels, beliefs and judgments. Five years on, I realize how all that actually gets in the way of our ability to flow with life, with its ups-and-downs, uncertainties, messes, mysteries, surprises and shocks.